Grief doesn’t follow a timeline. Whether it’s been weeks, months, or even years since someone you loved passed away, it’s completely normal to still feel the weight of that loss. The idea that we should eventually “get over” grief is not only unrealistic, but it can be harmful.

Grief Doesn’t Have a Deadline

One of the most common misconceptions about grief is that it has an endpoint. In reality, grief changes over time, but it doesn’t disappear. You might go days or weeks feeling okay, only to be hit with a wave of sadness out of nowhere. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong; it means you’re human.

Why You Might Still Be Grieving

You may still be grieving because the person you lost mattered deeply. Their absence may be felt in everyday moments, such as birthdays, holidays, or even just hearing a song they loved. These reminders can stir up emotions long after the funeral is over.

Grief can also resurface during life changes: moving house, getting married, having a child, or retiring. All of these can bring up fresh feelings of loss.

There’s No Shame in Still Feeling Sad

It’s okay if you’re not “back to normal.” Many people find that grief becomes part of who they are. You carry the love, the memories, and yes, sometimes the pain, but that doesn’t mean you’re stuck. It means you’re still healing.

How to Cope When Grief Lingers

• Talk about it. Share your feelings with someone you trust. You don’t have to pretend you’re fine.
• Honour your loved one. Light a candle, visit a special place, or do something they enjoyed.
• Be kind to yourself. Grief is not a weakness. Permit yourself to feel whatever comes up.

You’re Not Alone

If you’re still grieving, even years later, you’re not alone, and you’re not broken. Grief is a reflection of love, and love doesn’t end. You don’t have to “get over it.” You just have to keep going, one day at a time.